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Bonsai Plum Blossom enhances our ability to take risks. It inspires within us a gentle, motherly love that allows us to make mistakes, to fail and to be imperfect on the first try. It dissolves the desire for perfectionism, and eases tensions around fear of failure, judgement and criticism. Instead, we can explore with curiosity, and feel more free in our bodies. We can take continual risks outside of our comfort zone, because comfort resides within us. Read more here!
By being intentional when taking our flower essences, we remind ourselves, our guides and the universe what it is we want to embody. Choose one of the phrases below that most resonates, or make up your own! Every time you take your elixir, close your eyes and set your intention:
My mistakes are beautiful.
I’m gonna go for it.
Fears dissolve in this loving space.
I feel free in my body.
Wild risks bring learning!
There’s no such thing as failure, only perpetual exploration & experimentation.
To take it one step further, as you take your elixir and set your intention, visualize everyone else in this program, all around the world, feeling light and free. By connecting with others in our group, we exponentially multiply the benefit + ripple effect!
When do you notice yourself wanting to be perfect?
In what situations do you avoid conflict?
If you could take wild risks, what would they be?
When are you afraid to be seen?
If you had zero fear of judgment or failure, what would you do?
Prefer to have a printed sheet with the writing prompts, exquisite practices + a calendar to track your month?
Download the Bonsai Plum Blossom Support Guide here.
Instead of sweeping things under the rug, address them head on.
Put yourself in situations that feel like a risk.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Appreciate your mistakes with the unconditional love of a mother.
Explore space and get curious about movements of your body - notice where there is freedom and where there is tension. Breathe into the tension to soften it and allow more space.
I will help you:
Use me when:
This week, I'd like to talk about a phenomenon that is something I often have fallen into in the past. I used to a lot more than I do currently, but still when stress or pressure is added, sort of like upping the ante, I will fall into this particular pattern. And so I want to share just a little bit about the way I experience it and how Plum Blossom helps out with that in case you also occasionally experience this phenomenon, and that is believing that there is one right way to do something. And I don't necessarily mean in terms of like there's one perfect route to get from A to B, not at all that type of rigidity. It's more like in this sort of like woo woo world of what's my best life purpose? What's the best possible product I could create? What's the best way I could do this project? Who's the best person I could partner with to do this?
It's almost hard for me to think of examples right now, but I remember it being sort of, not like a life or death thing, but just like really intense experience in years past. I remember about many years ago, like 15 years ago being on a trip in Puerto Rico with a really close friend of mine and getting an instruction from one of our teachers who had said, "Be on the lookout for somebody who really needs your help in Puerto Rico." And so in the end I never found out if there actually really was somebody who needed our help or there wasn't and he was just trying to dissolve our fixation on doing something the right way.
Because as soon as we got that instruction, it was like every moment during that trip in Puerto Rico we were looking around, looking for the person who needed help and then wondering, Oh my gosh, if there's a fork in the road, did we go the right way? Did we take the right choice? Did we go to the right restaurant? Are we going to run into the person who needs our help? Waaaay overthinking things, right? Because there was one right way. And rather than thinking of life as there's such a multiplicitous array of outcomes that could occur in choices that we could make, some choices leading to the same place, some leading to different places.
I mean, who's to say that in that particular experience we could've gone to any number of locations and that person would be drawn or magnetized to that place if that were really the case. So that's one kind of silly example. Another is something that I was experiencing in the previous couple of weeks. I'm working on a big project right now. Actually yeah, it is a big project. It requires at least 20 hours of full on focused attention and there is a possibility for a greater capacity of being seen and promoted and being put in front of a lot more people.
Well, that's all I'll say for now. You'll eventually find out about it. But that sense of, so what I was going through was, okay, there's one right way to do it. There's one right, best way to do it. There's a best way to do it. That's more what I'm talking about. Not a right way. There's a best way to do it. And what if I don't get the best way to do it? It's like this, you know what it is? It's dualism. It's hardcore dualism. It's like black, white, good, bad, right? We put it into this bucket of I'm either going to do the best way or I'm totally going to fuck up and be a failure and it's going to be like less than perfect and not amazing. And everywhere from really close loved ones and teachers, folks have been saying, "Well, just be yourself."
That's the key is like be yourself and be engaged and be passionate about what you're talking about and they're right. Because it doesn't matter what is said or which pathway is taken or which direction the project goes in. It's just about being yourself. And in fact, each time I like practice what I'm up to, it comes out a little bit different. And who's to say that any which one is better than the other? It's more about the essence that's coming through. So if that ever happens to you where you feel like there's one best way to go, like there's like the best decision to make, when you sort of get paralyzed you get stuck because it's like, Oh, which decision?
And I think young people often go through this too. "I want to move somewhere. Where's the best place to move? I want to get a job, but what's the best place to get a job?" And really you just make a decision and then iterate if you need to and live moment to moment, and you live in the now.
You can have a million choices and opportunities present to you rather than there being... Because inherent in there being like a best way. Inherent in that way of thinking is that any other way, but that best way is wrong. It's failure. It's less than, it's not as good and you'll be judged or criticized or you'll just miss the boat. It'll be wrong. That is such a weird pattern, right? So Plum Blossom is going to be working on a lot of different elements and patterns within us that being one of them. The best way phenomenon.
So yeah. I mean then we could even think of it in terms of flower essences, like what's the best flower essence to take to uproot this thing the fastest and if you use any other one, it's not going to be as good, right. When there are probably 10 that have some element that could uproot it from a different angle.
So question for this week is: when do you notice yourself wanting to do something the best way or identify the best combination or the most superior perfect outcome or process? When do you notice yourself engaging in that pattern or habit? And can you in that moment, just first, just notice and then soften into the spaciousness and remembering that there are so many opportunities in multiplicitous choices and outcomes and just being present in the moment is the most important. That there is no best way. There is no best way. So noticing when you engage in that kind of pattern and then reminding yourself that there is no best, it's all good.
One of the things I think that's pretty fascinating about flowers is that when they're in the same family, sometimes they often have similar qualities. And I see this especially with stone fruits. For some reason, they're all a little bit different, slightly different but having collected plum, nectarine, peach ... I think that's it. Peach actually isn't in our collection but I ... I mean I have it in our mother essence library, but I haven't pulled it out as a main flower essence ... but they're all similar in this sort of like soft quality, a softening. In fact, they're all really good for the skin because of that softening quality.
There's sort of like a hint of motherly love in all three essences as well. Comparing the two that we have available, the Bonsai Plum and the Nectarine, you know, if you look at Nectarine, one of its main functions is to help when you feel under attack. This is similar quality with Bonsai Plum actually, when you feel criticized or blamed.
And so, I wanted to talk about that this week. When do you feel attacked? When do you feel criticized? Blamed, judged, ostracized? Fabulous words, right? Whether it's from yourself or externally, it'd be interesting to just do some like speed writing of what pops into your mind, actually. If you were to take out a pen and paper and just jot down or jot it down in your phone.
When have you felt criticized? When have you felt blamed? When have you felt attacked? It's funny because when I put myself up to thinking about it, it's typically when someone in my sphere is triggered for some reason and it has nothing to do with me, but it's like definitely sort of feels like an attack, right? Or when people misunderstand us and they blame us because they perceive what we did or said as X, Y, Z a certain way that wasn't what its intended purpose was, but it triggers something in them and so it turns into blame and attack and criticism.
So much of all of that stuff is really, just lies within us in terms of how we operate inside of ourselves. Right? Like if we have a tendency to be very judgmental in ourselves and really hold ourselves to really high standards and want to be perfect and everything, then we'll hold others to very high standards and want them to be perfect and be upset when they don't live up to our expectations and be uncomfortable when they're human and they screw up.
Then this whole concept of social media is really interesting. What we edit, what we share, when we become critical on ourselves based on how many likes or how many interactions there were. It's kind of an old topic, but it's not old in the sense that probably most of us go through some level of that on a daily basis or whenever we're sharing something or posting something. It's like, how worthy is this? Is this really going to mean something to someone? Is this helpful? Is this just for me? Is it okay that it's just for me? Is it okay that this post is just sort of like a journal or should everything be like helping other people? Right? You know, there's a significant amount of overthinking, being self-critical.
So thank goodness for flowers like Bonsai Plum and Nectarine - all these softening, gentle flowers. Oh my God, you know, when you think about how the actual flowers are so delicate. Cherry blossom is another one. In Korea, they have Cherry Blossom tea and they pull out these perfectly dried cherry blossoms with the tweezers from a jar and put them into your tea cup. I just found that so fascinating. There's a fragility to stone fruit flowers. There's a fleeting quality, a fragile, delicate ... you know, the tree is hardy, but the flower is transitory. It's coming and going and it's so soft. They fall in a new carpet of pink blossoms. Whether it's Cherry Blossoms or Nectarine or Plum or Almond or Peach, there's a real softness.
So, this week, focusing on those harder elements that we possess inside of us and that are in the collective consciousness – this element of criticism and judgment and blame and attack and being critical of other people. There's a certain level of criticism, I think, that's healthy. You know, when you look at your own actions and you say like, "Damn, I could do better. Why did I do it that way? I could do it better." Or you know, even looking at other's actions, if it motivates you to be better, to do better, rather than talk about someone or gossip, if your mind that goes into critical mode, then you can use that energy and funnel it into an inspiration or motivation for you to improve yourself. That can be beneficial.
But typically, those elements are kind of harder elements and so what we can do is bring in softness. Obviously, Bonsai Plum helps, but we need to do the real final work, which is this compassion and softening, softening, softening, softening. That doesn't mean that, you know, again, we need to be perfect human beings with zero judgment and zero critical nature. We need critical thinking. We can't just believe everything we see and acquiesce to everything everyone else says or does. Critical thinking is really important. It's just that when it becomes judgmental or creates hardness, it becomes ineffective or an obstacle.
So again, it doesn't mean that we need to be free of these things. It just means that it's an invitation for softening. When we catch ourselves blaming ourselves or blaming someone else, or blaming a situation, being critical of ourselves, of other people, judgment, et cetera, the remedy is softness. Just soften. Just soften and unconditionally love, right? Patience and softness. It's not that you have to eliminate or kill that from your system or be really upset when someone does that to you. It's just softening, softening, softening is the answer. Softening is the answer.
So, the question of this week is: when do you notice elements of blame, judgment, criticism — from any angle, from within, from without — arise in life, and what does it feel like to soften, soften, soften, soften? Whether it's in response to yourself, to an inner dialogue or to external influences. What does it feel like to soften?
This week I want to talk about taking risks. What a fun topic. How do we take more risks? Seems like taking risks like inherent in taking risks means that you're risking something. You're putting yourself out there, you're climbing out on the edge, right? You're living life on the edge, meaning that there's some element of danger or insecurity or fear or potential failure or mishap or mistake, right? Or perceived mistake, perceived failure, perceived danger, that might actually not be real. And in the case of us as human beings taking more risks in our lives, I believe that most of what we're up against is just the perceived fear of your innocence.
Some of the biggest risks that we take are just like, "Should I put myself out on a limb? Should I make this decision? Should I reach out to so-and-so? Should I say this thing when it's going to be hard? Should I put myself in front of a bunch of people? Should I take on a big project? Should I allow myself to be seen as I truly am?"
I feel like some of the biggest risks we take are more internal, not so much external. I mean, sure we can take business risks and spend money and buy real estate or buy stocks or... Take risks on that level. But I think that ultimately, the most powerful risks are within ourselves, in our behaviors, in our choices, in our actions.
And so, I wanted to just talk about how to take risks. And by no means am I an expert in taking risks, that's for sure, but I have taken risks in business and in life in some ways by sharing weird things like flower essences and growing a business. And so, from my personal experience, what I would say is how to take risks, and this is a good reminder for all of us. I'm going to listen to this recording myself as a good reminder to myself as well.
Taking risks has a lot to do with being okay with figuring it out on the fly. Taking risks means that you can't anticipate what's coming, you can't control it. And so you acknowledged that you can't control it, you don't know what's coming. Could be good, bad. You don't want to be dualistic. It could be a wild mistake. It could be a wonderful beneficial thing. But you acknowledge that you have no control. You don't know what's happening. You're going out of your comfort zone. These are not controlled steps.
And so, you are committing to yourself to live in the moment and figure it out as you go. That's the only way. Maybe that's why taking risk scares people so much. So like, what happens if you speak up in front of a bunch of people and everybody's looking at you and it's like... What a rush, right? Like, "Oh, my God, am I going to say the wrong thing? Did I say the wrong thing?" That could be a taking risk. And in that moment, you're living 500% in the present. You're not somewhere else.
I mean, your mind might be thinking, "Oh, what am I doing?" But you're not thinking about the past and you're not thinking about the future. You're not trying to strategize your next steps and analyze what might happen. You're 500% in the moment, taking things as they are in the moment, being receptive to what arises. So that's all taking risks is. Being okay with figuring it out on the fly. It seems kind of easy, right?
Yeah, it's like choosing to do something, even if it scares you. That could be another form of taking risk. Like, "Ooh, wow, this totally puts me out of my comfort zone. That scares me. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. Will I be able to do a good job? Will I be able to execute it? Will I be able to be successful? Will I totally screw up?" And despite all of those questions, making the move, it's like... I know I repeat this so many times, but it's one of my favorite quotes from Chögyam Trungpa, when he says that, "Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It's having fear and doing it anyway." That's what taking risks is.
It's being willing to create a space that's wide enough inside of yourself, that's loving, that's unconditionally loving enough that it can make space for that fear and you can still operate. You can still move, right? There's enough spaciousness that you can move. You can have freedom to move alongside that tension or fear. It's like the wild bull. In the pen, he's dangerous, in the flowery fields, he's nothing. And so, Bonsai Plum is creating this motherly love spaciousness within ourselves so that we can make room for taking more risks alongside the tension or the fear.
So, the question for this week is: if anything were possible, if no one could stop you, if no judgment, criticism or hesitation or insecurity could hold you back, what does wild freedom look like to you in the sense of taking risks? What's a wild risk you could take? Or even a baby risk that you could take? And how can you commit to the wild, risky freedom of committing to yourself to figure it out as you go? To living the edge of your pants, not planning out or trying to anticipate or figure out or move into the future about how things will be?
Can you live this one crazy, wild life? What does Mary Oliver say? Or who is it? "What will I do with this one wild and crazy life... day?" I think I butchered it. but you get the feeling. It's like life is short. Life is passing us by in every moment. Nothing lasts. The windows of opportunities that open and close, jump on it, girl. Jump on it. What are you waiting for? You know? Because pretty soon we're going to be in our 90s, and then we'll be departing. So, what's the worst that could happen?
You could feel and you can create enough softness for that. You can make a mistake, you can create enough softness for that. You can be a total fool and look so stupid in front of thousands of people. You can make enough space and softness to be able to deal with that. You can take care of yourself. You can mother yourself through all of those experiences. You can totally fuck up. You can totally be a fool. You can totally screw it up. No matter what happens, you can make softening and space for whatever is the worst possible outcome that could occur.
But the more interesting question is: can you allow for something big to happen? Can you allow for more eyes on you? Can you allow for an expansion of your true gifts? Can you allow for thousands of people to help you? Can you allow for resources and abundance to funnel in? Can you take risks that bring you beyond your wildest dreams? Commit to figuring it out on the go. What can you commit to? How can you commit to just figuring it out on the go and trusting yourself that you can create enough softness and space to accommodate for anything – whether it's extremes of discomfort or extremes of pleasure?
The discomfort of feeling stupid to the discomfort of being wildly successful. In what ways can you create enough space and softness for you to take more risks? Because life is short, and you can handle anything that arises at any moment.
I collected the Bonsai Plum Blossom from a supremely skilled Japanese gardener named Sake, who lives in Santa Monica, California. The plum tree was a hardy bonsai growing in the ground, coming up to about mid-thigh and rounded out with thick roots and large, showy pink blossoms.
The Plum Blossom is one of the most beloved flowers in East Asia, celebrated in poetry and art. It originated near the Yangtze River in Southern China and later spread to other parts of Asia, including Japan, Taiwan, Korea and Vietnam.
The Plum Blossom is commonly included in traditional Chinese poetry and is one of the ‘Four Gentleman’ in Chinese painting, also known as the ‘Four Noble Ones’. In traditional ink painting, Plum Blossom represents winter and is a harbinger of spring.
It flowers from January through late February; as it often blooms when there is still snow on the ground, it is known for its ethereal qualities. It is said that its fragrance persists despite the cold winter air, symbolizing beauty, purity and hope.
Plum Blossoms and fruits are used in cooking, from condiments to beverages to sweet treats, and they are also revered in Traditional Chinese Medicine.
According to Japanese tradition, the ‘ume’ or plum acts as a protective charm against evil. Planting it in the northeast corner of the garden protects from evil winds and eating pickled plums for breakfast is said to keep misfortune away.
If you’re attracted to the Bonsai Plum Blossom, you may struggle with perfectionism or fear of judgment, criticism or attack. Rather than experience the freedom to take wild risks out of your comfort zone, you may stop short as a result of underlying fears. You may occasionally experience fear of being seen, or a desire to hide when all eyes are on you. You may be evasive, elusive or sweep things under the rug for fear of blame or conflict, not because you are irresponsible, but because it seems easier in the moment to avoid confrontation.
Alternatively, you may have the tendency when decision-making to believe there is only one right way, (and you must figure out that one right way, or else ...). This approach can intensify a simple decision into an almost life or death decision, because there is a fear of failure, getting it wrong or missing an opportunity.
Plum Blossom is a gentle, motherly love that allows us to make mistakes, to fail, to be imperfect. It allows us to experience different things and develop an ability to get better and better over time. Rather than allow perfectionism or fear of failure/judgment to prevent us from acting, we’re able to experience more freedom to explore, experiment and be curious.
Rather than asking ourselves, ‘What’s the safest route?’ we ask, ‘What will allow us to flourish most quickly?’. No longer any tension or fear of harm, we experience freedom in our movements, both in terms of the physical body -- as well as the next moves we make.
Bonsai Plum Blossom allows us to take bigger risks while still feeling supported. It offers a firm stability and foundation from which we can make choices, and boosts our inner stability so we can flourish in any environment: we feel untouchable!
Instead of believing there is only one right way, we can try new things. Taking risks feels exciting and multipathed -- that there are lots of options if it doesn’t work out, rather than constantly making decisions based on avoidance of danger.
{Magnifies}: Gentleness, tenderness and motherly, protective love toward yourself; ability to flourish and take bigger risks with curiosity, exploration and experimentation; untouchable in the external world; experiencing more freedom in your body; feeling secure in love relationships.
{Dissolves}: Fear of not being perfect; fear of being judged, criticized, blamed or attacked; fear of being judged on social media, revenge or being in harm’s way; desire to hide or run away; sense that we are unlucky or cursed in some way; fear of black magic.
{Miscellaneous}: Can also be indicated when feeling unlucky or living in an area of the planet that is war-torn or that has experienced epidemics, when there is a heaviness of circumstance, or unlucky feeling. Also indicated for skeletons in your closet.
